Hesitation is how your mind reprograms itself!

There is somewhat of a negative connotation surrounding the word hesitation. I am of belief that all the emotions and behaviours that exist actually have a practical purpose. It is true that we live in a rapidly evolving world to which our biology can keep up, but i don't think this makes all our instincts useless.

New information will almost always cause hesitation, if you have a series of positive or negative experiences in an area of your life. Learning information that contradicts that experience would cause you to pause before you act in order to gather more information directly from your experience to really determine if your experience with that thing is accurate.

Hesitation is a natural mechanism that help you reassess your situation, in order to make sure you are taking the best possible decisions. When you suffer from extended abuse, you will experience pain not only from direct experience but also from memory. For example if you had negative experience in the past with relationships, when you find someone new that you want to start a relationship with the painful memories from your past will surface causing you to act in strange ways making you a poor partner driving away the other person. This is how your negative experience from the past creates a vicious cycle that can ruin your present.

 If in the past you had a relatively happy life, the memories of your past will cause you to become nostalgic, when the past is not so pleasant and happy the memories will cause you to dissociate. We have to perform three major tasks avoid danger, provide for our needs to sustain ourselves and reproduce. When you are in a calm state you have integrity the mind is able to perform all three of the tasks without neglecting the other, however when you are in distress the mind will prioritize one of the task at the disadvantage of the others two.

This compromise of the mind happens whenever you experience emotional pain either direct from your present experience or from the past memories that worn you that your experience was negative in the past and is very likely to have another negative experience in the present.

Hesitation is like being on a seesaw moving between the negative experience of your past that it will cause you to dissociate leaving you to live in a compromise and the hope that you can built a new experience that will allow you to be happy and keep your integrity.

The past can be changed the only way to deal with the negative emotions from the past is to build new positive emotions, when you do that you will stop dissociating. In order to build diferit emotions that your negative experience you first need the knowledge that it is possible to do better in that area. But emotions are not logical you can't change emotions by reasoning with them, emotions respond to the environment and your relation relative to it.

So when you are going to act upon the new experience there is going to be a discrepancy between how you feel and how do you want to act, this is what hesitation is. It is the process through which your mind reprograms itself. Resisting it is resisting healing, it something that it should be encouraged because is how you heal.

In my journey I used to be confused and think that there was something wrong with me whenever i hesitated, that caused me to self-sabotage because, i would not allow this natural healing process to take place and this made it impossible to create new positive experiences.