F@#% New Year Resolutions

We seem to be obsessed about the concept of rebirth. The new year symbolizes the end of a cycle and the beginning of a new.

I think this naturally make people reflect upon their lives and all the good and the bad, the same the end of the month or your birth day does. We all have vices and certain things that we could improve abut ourselves, what we really want when we set a resolution is closure we wan't to feel good this is why resolving certain things in our lives is enticing.

The word resolution means to resolve something, the problem with this is that resolving ones problem is not going to make him happy. Having problems is an infinite cycle, after you manage to solve the problem you have right now you will get a new set of problems. So then happiness has to be something else, rather then everything goes right, because that is impossible.

The problem with this is that change happen slow and gradual over time in a inconsistent non linear way. To expect that you should change your life over night and become a new person over night it is simply not an accurate reflection of reality. The problem is not so much that you failed your resolution as failure is normal unavoidable part of the process, as much as it means that you failed by setting a resolution in the first place.

The more i live and try to refine myself over time, i realize that things happen inconstantly and at a degree and intensity over which i have no control over. The only thing that i know is that in the past as much time i stayed persistent with everything i attempted to do i eventually succeeded.

Taking this in consideration it becomes very hard to set goals when there are so many variables over which you don't have any control and they are very hard to predict. Goals are more a general direction in which you decide to walk rather then an exact destination. Because it is impossible for you to know exactly when you are going to arrive and what that place really looks like and what is going to offer to you.

So then the person that has the highest chances to succeed is not the most talented, or genetically perfect as much is the one that is not willing to quit, the most persistent one. The people that re willing to overcome everything that life throws at them and keep moving until they achieve what they desire.

If you want change don't give up, there is a great quote from Buddha that goes something like this "the only mistake you can do is to never start or quit early". I hope you have a great year!

Pain is Like a Vitamin!

Is not necessary that we need vitamins as much that this substances were so present in what we ate and almost impossible to avoid, that we adapted to use them for certain functions of our bodies. I think the same is valid for pain, it is simply part of any experience you ever had that it is necessary to maintain your mental health.

It was possible only recently to avoid this things, in the food this happens through the processing of the food that we end up with things like sugar that doesn't contain any vitamin. Through the modern inventions and innovations we end up increasing the amount of comfort that we live in, and eliminate so much of the pain that was previously inescapable.

Think of all the things you have in your house that serve no other purpose than make you comfortable. Simple inventions that we take for granted like chairs. How would you like to squat instead of sit on a chair?

 In a primitive set-up avoiding pain is not necessary impossible as much as it is a lot harder. If you live in a straw hut wearing a leaf around your important parts, and you have to work every day for the food you are going to eat for that day, like going in the jungle almost naked to compete with predators like lion, and the only tool you have for the job is a refined stick with a pointy end, avoiding pain pretty much means death.

Even the drugs sucks, and requires some effort because there are no dealers. There are a lot of tribes that use certain plants that could be considered drugs like chew and smoke tobacco or the leafs of the coca plant the prime matter for cocaine. But this drugs are less potent then their processed and synthetic derivatives. Not to mention that you have to grow them or at least go in the forest where dangerous animals live to find any and if you did to many and can't work there is no welfare you will probably die from starvation. Addiction in all regards is a disease of modernity, it could simply not exist until a point in time.      

The recent technology allows us to do so many things that previously were impossible, but also brought so much comfort that disrupts this natural balance. I am not against technology and comfort, contrary i love technology and comfort and there is certainly no way back to living in straw huts. I just think that we can improve and take in consideration this things whenever we decide how to live our lives. The same way happened with food so many people chose to follow specifics healthier diet to protect their health regardless that the food they consume every day it is less pleasurable.  

Avoiding pain completely it is impossible, no matter what you do you will eventually experience some. I could argue that it is one of the few certainty in life pain and death are simply impossible to avoid. So if pain is impossible to avoid then what is the point, you are playing a rigged game in which no matter what you do and how you play it is impossible to win. Every moment out of your life contains some pain, regardless you like it or not, even when things go right there is  something negative you can get fixated on.

What does it mean to be a grown up

There are a lot of big babies in the world. Unfortunately the way we take care of children today it is quite problematic. So many people had traumatic childhoods and because they are unwilling to work and overcome their trauma, they remain emotionally underdeveloped. They have the body of an adult but the emotional maturity of a child.

So what does exactly means to be an adult? The main difference between an adult and a child is that adults are self reliant, they have to relay on themselves to get their needs meet. This means that they use different strategies to get what they want. A baby cries or trows a temper tantrum to alert the adults around them that he is unwell and needs something, while an adult is proactive and takes action for what he/she needs without complaining for how hard it is or when what is desired is not achieved.

A good indicator for emotional maturity is not getting what you need or what expecting to receive and remain happy.

When you are a child you are helpless without others taking care of you, this means that being like by other it is a matter of life and death. Because your parents have to like you and love you enough to put of with the inconvenience of raising a child. You need to be attached other wise you are at least in danger.

When this attachment is not established, childhood tends to be a stressful mess, that could lead to various physical and mental illness one of which is dissociation. It is basically when someone it is under continuous emotional pain and the entire life of that person becomes a catharsis for the pain. This makes it impossible to have any healthy relationship, because when you are avoiding your pain it is impossible to be honest with other people and honesty is what leads to intimacy. It is also the precursor to addiction, according to Dr. Gabor Mate author of a great book about addiction called "In the Realm of Hungry Ghost", says that the problem of his addicted patience always start during childhood, and that addiction it is a simply an attempt for the addicted individual to self medicate for his emotional pain.          

As an adult, probably the most important skill you can learn is how to detach yourself. Because now you can be self relayent, being attached of someone is no longer necessary for your survival. If there is one certainty in life is that something wrong it is going to happen, especially when it comes to relationships. Any attachment you hold you will eventually end up with pain. So then pain is the truth, pain is the only certainty you can have in life. And as we discussed in a previous post pain always leads to pleasure because it stimulates your endocrine system.  

Detachment is not indifference, if i offer you something you don't want regardless the fact that you will get it or not your mood remains unchanged. It is when i offer you something that you are interested in if you get it you are happy if you don't sad. Detachment is when the outcome of that situation is the same if you get it you are happy if you don't you are happy. In order to be able to do that you have to know how to deal with your pain.   

Negativity and Positivity are Complementary

There is a trend that has been going on for a while, that involves people avoiding the negative aspects of themselves. Things like thoughts, emotions and behaviors.

You probably already heard about the law of attraction or books like "The Secret". The essence of the law of attraction is to avoid negativity, because if you don't you are going to attract more of the same in to your life so like this you create your own misery and misfortune.

The problem with this view of the negative aspects of life is that for the most part the things that you suppose to control are involuntary. Take for example emotions they are part of your autonomous nervous system so there is very little you can do about them. The only two options you have is either to express and suppress. If you chose to suppress your emotions because you read The Secret and now you are afraid to be negative because you think you are going to suffer, by suppressing your emotions you are going to make them last longer and beside the more you stuff something down and resist it to come to the surface you will eventually run out of will power and this things are going to come out to the surface in a way or another, and is not going to be pretty.

In some regard it is true that like attract like, but the opposite is also true in certain circumstances. Like in the case of your emotions, go through waves sometimes your emotions change every few seconds.

Also if they exist they must have a purpose, not only negativity is not here to hurt you but in a controlled way it is good for you, it has certain benefit. The purpose of your negative emotions and thoughts is to help you survive.

Think about it shouldn't you fell angry towards someone that is hurting you so you can defend yourself, shouldn't you feel hate towards someone that hurt you in the past so you can stay away from that person so he/she can hurt you again or feel sad and disappointed when you didn't accomplished your goals etc.

By expressing the negative side of yourself not only you release that energy and from that place it is more likely to move on, but if you do it in a healthy balanced way it has certain benefits. Negativity is here to help you survive it is part of your self preservation instincts. By suppressing it you sabotage yourself. I found the key to be learning how to express all of this things in a balanced and healthy way.

How to Have a Happy Ending

You know that movie cliche: if there is a significant positive event it is usually followed by something horrible. Like one of the main character might die. The reason why we like to watch movies, why it is emotionally rewarding is because we like observing others people life stories to get the wisdom out of them so we can apply it to our lives.

As annoying as this cliches are they tend to mimic the way this things happens in real life, which makes the movie more plausible and realistic. We all go through cycles in life we tend to have a series of positive things happen to us followed by something bad.

Life is pretty chaotic there are so many variables to predict and control, the only element over which you have some control is yourself. So what do we do when good things happen to us, that might sabotage our long term happiness?

Well first of all our emotion change, from being unsatisfied and unhappy now we are contempt and happy. This ultimately will change your behavior that drive that you have when you are "hungry", so you start slacking you are going to be more relaxed, and slowly abandon the behavior that get you where you are right know. But we also project in to the future and we expect things to remain the same, so we stop adapting to the environment.

This makes you vulnerable and more susceptible to be surpassed by your competition and decay in general. The true irony however is that as soon as you stop making an effort to achieve anything, even if you already have a certain degree of abundance in your life, you are going to become unhappy.    

This tends to be a common pattern with people and organisations, you can observe this in various business fields, the rises and falls of various companies.

The question then is can you escape this pattern, is this a purgatory, are you going to allow the history to repeat itself until you learn the lessons and you stop repeating your actions that lead you to the same outcome.

I think it is, i certainly gotten a lot better with this in my life for the most part of course performance is a variable, you are never going to be perfect. The important lesson is that no matter what you achieve in life is not going to keep you happy for to long. Happiness is the emotional reward for the effort in the pursuit of pleasure. So if there is so effort it is impossible to be happy. The way you get in trouble with this is when you expect that from now one that things should be easy. And this is why i gave up on living the easy life.

Chaos The Natural State Of The World

Order means arranging things in a certain way that is convenient for us. If you are going to have order you need to destroy certain things and force people to do things that they don't want.
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For example the way a teacher maintains order in the class room, it is almost impossible to make everybody do what they are suppose to do when they are supposed to do without using coercion. Like threatening people with small grade or with unwanted trips to the principle office, in the past even with direct physical violence. This is often justify as being necessary for the well being of the children. Presented as a tool of education rather than coercion, that will make the kids well adjusted to the world and give them the necessary skills that they need in the world.
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I could argue that this is not true as the modern contemporary school system is set in such a way to make the kids complaisance to authority and sabotage them intellectually. It doesn't relay focus on the needs of the children, the system is set in such a way to benefit the government and the corporations that are going to potentially hire this people. Through the external control you end up with a win-louse dynamic.

I know everything in a controlled way has a purpose and a benefit. So what would qualify as healthy and beneficial expression of control?
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• Externally establishing order in a healthy way is either done through cooperation in finding a win-win solution or true force if is an act of self defense, which is the only moral use of force.
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• Internally is the self control and discipline that one needs to practice in order to maintain his happiness.
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  Chaos is truly created be externally controlling others for your own gain. I think that the most common definition for chaos as: everybody doing what they want whenever they want, is how things should naturally go for the most part with the exception of the self discipline and self-defense. The effect of this is that people are going to be happy and when people are happy they don't want to hurt each other you naturally end up with more peace. Whenever you are unhappy and try to control others to make yourself happy you are abusing them and this creates all the nasty side effects of abuse which ultimately creates true chaos and sufferance.
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  We often have the tendency to look at the world when we are unhappy and think that the world around us is going to change we are going to become happy. This is false because in order to change the world in order to make yourself happy you would have to use coercion which for sure is not going to lead to long term happiness.
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  As the Greek philosopher Socrates said: it is better to be the victim of abuse then the abuser, when you are the victim all what happened is your property got damaged even if that is your body.
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  Happiness is the resilience to the external forces, it is the self control that you need to practice that will make you resilient enough to adapt to the external situations. For as long as you have the attitude i am unhappy you need to change happiness won't last for to long.

The Truth About Ignorance

There is an old saying that says ignorance is bliss. This certainly true in certain cases knowing the truth will only make you suffer, or put you in danger. I think that everything in a balance way is healthy and beneficial for you even ignorance.

The problem is when staying ignorant makes you suffer and to self-sabotage. This is why ignorance is something to be practiced in moderation.

There are two ways to be ignorant:

1. The first way to maintain someone in a state of ignorance is to deprive him or her of information. In the absence of valuable information this people are not going to take very good decision because they simply don't know about the negative consequences of their actions.

A good example of this is smoking until a certain point there wasn't enough information about nocive effects of the smoking has on the human body. So the people that smoked and damaged their health weren't fully responsible about it because they weren't aware about what exactly they were doing to themselves.

This form of ignorance can last a very long time especially when someone is profiting out of your action for as long as you are ignorant. This is what happened with the tobacco companies that buried a lot of the research that linked smoking with cancer and hire doctors to appear on TV programs to lye to people in order to confuse them. This disable the ability of the people to take the best decisions for themselves, so they don't have free-will.

1. The second type of ignorance happens when someone have all the necessary information to take the best decisions but rejects the facts and and keeps taking bad decisions, this is commonly known as denial.
The denial is maintained to a series of mechanism like: justification or avoidance. This are relay just very elaborated ways of lying to yourself, the way out of denial is to be honest with yourself. Not as commonly believed, that in order to get out of denial is to reach rock bottom. It is true that some people when they are faced with the hard consequences of their actions are more likely to be honest with themselves and then their behavior changes. But is the honesty that changes their emotions that ultimately changes their behaviors. You don't have to wait until your life is destroyed to take action.
By lying to yourself and diminishing the perception of the negative consequences of your actions, you are making yourself feel good when you do bad things. And this is why your emotions don't work, if you would ask me all mental recovering processes have to start with telling the truth.

Enlightment is Balanced Masochism

Life is full of challenges, it never really gets easy. When i used to be younger i had the impression that eventually after all the hard work i am putting in various skills things are going to reach some sort of equilibrium and things are going to become a lot easy.

Well i am starting to realize that it will never get easy no matter who you are or what do you accomplish you still have problems. Life can be good but never easy, there will always be something wrong with your body, there will be always someone who doesn't like you, In all recorded human history there was peace for about 3% of the time.

So then happiness can't be about everything goes wright, because if everything has to go wright in order for you to be happy. Then being happy is impossible, I think happiness is about resilience is about being flexible. You have to move with the forces that act on you otherwise they will damage you more then if you move with them. Think of a tree bending in the wind if the tree wouldn't be flexible enough to bend when the wind blows it will just snap and die with the first strong wind.

Being big or strong has to be proportional with flexibility either wise things won't last very long, the strongest you are the more flexible you need to be. The bigger the tree the more surface for the wind to push, so that flexibility needs to be maintained.

When it comes to human being we want to be happy, but then something that we call "negative" happens and that happiness is being interrupted by pain. We already have the necessary tools to do this, we have an endocrine system that rewards us for both for the things that we do that are nurturing but also for the pain that we experience.

One of the practices that focuses on this is asceticism, which is part of the eastern religions like Buddhism or Hindu. People that decide to become ascetics renounce all the material things and connections often live just with the bare minimum to survive, and participate in hard practices like long fast or meditation sessions, as well as practices that directly punish the body.

This often leads to the practitioner looking anemic and emaciated like in the picture above. This of course is an extreme form of practice, there is a lot of mysticism behind it which is hard to prove. What i can tell you for sure is that by constantly exposing yourself to a great amount of pain you will have a lot of endorphin's inside your body.

I know becoming an ascetic is not very attractive, fortunately you don't have to i think that life provides you with enough opportunity for practice for learning how to convert your pain in to pleasure. Beside being an anorexic in a monastery is a little to extreme for me and you don't want to miss on life.

All what it take is the commitment to stop assuming that life will get easy, and expose yourself to pain in a controlled way!

The way you increase the flexibility of matter is by exposing it to a controlled force, for example by heating rubber it becomes vulcanized which makes it hundreds of time more elastic.

Why Santa Clause is EVIL

Oh yes we are going there, so grab a cup of hot chocolate and allow me to ruin Christmas for you.

I am not going to bore you with all the facts you probably you already know about Santa Clause like the fact that he was originally green and he becomes red after appearing in a Coca-Cola commercial, or that it was use by parents to hide the fact that they did something good for their children out of the fear that they will get spoiled.

First of all, children rely on their parents for feedback about reality, so they form the model of reality not only based on what they experience directly, but also based on the information they received from the adults around them.

I had a slightly terrifying conversation with a six years old telling me about the magic of Christmas, as someone that dealed with a lot of mental illness on my side of family, delusion is one of the main symptom of mental illness it feel a little strange to talk with this clearly delusional human being, and not call it out on it.

As an adult having a very poor perception of reality makes you crazy so what is the difference between a child that really believes in Santa Clause and faeries and a schizophrenic. Of course they will eventually find out about the lye but just the fact that they accepted the lye for a while makes them more likely to accept irrational ideas and beliefs later in life. Because they don't practice those skills associated with logic or rationality.

It feels a little strange that the justification of all this is the simple pleasure that children enjoy Christmas, but the purpose of doing something is never pleasure. Because pleasure is the emotional reward so it can't be the purpose.

 Beside if i think of my childhood and the good memories i have about Christmas, i liked two things: receiving presents and spending time with my family. I was always skeptical about this fat creepy individual called Santa Clause.

The second thing i hate about the Santa Clause charade is the way it is used to control the behavior of the children. As we all know Santa is always watching and making a list with who is naughty or not he check's it twice or at least this is what the propaganda songs thought me.

Threatening your kids that if they are naughty they are not going to get their presents it is a great way to avoid having intimacy with your kids, and gain control over them for your own immediate comfort. This making Santa someone that will sacrifice the need of everybody's else for the satisfaction of his own needs, which is the definition of evil. Well The only problem is that Santa is not real. So who is evil?

PS. I am also on steemit now: https://steemit.com/@hellpas

How to Feel Normal

First we have to understand what is normal. My definition for normal is things that happened by themselves without coercion or violence.

So if you've been suffering for a long period of time you are probably the victim of violent acts. In order to stop your prolonged emotional pain you have to start defending yourself. Not only you have to stop the violence, but because the violence always leads to self-sabotage.

If you are attacked by a man in a dark alley it is because that person is attempting to make you do something that you wouldn't do either wise, like give him money and other valuables you have on you without getting nothing in return.

When this happens frequent enough you build bad habits and you end up sabotaging yourself constantly which leads to chronic pain. And from this chronic pain a chain reaction can start and reek havoc through your life, because you are sad others will like you less and you are going to have strange behaviors that make you dysfunctional etc.

It was observe a long time ago by the famous psychologist Abraham Maslow that the people who suffers from mental illness have various unmet needs. Because of this appears the illusion that one day when you are going to have enough you are finally going to feel contempt and happy. The problem with this is that because you are in such bad emotional frequency you are to dysfunctional to accomplish anything or form any relationship. Or even after you accomplish certain goals the initial high out of accomplishing that goes away and you relapse back in to your chronic unhappiness.

So how do you stop this cycle?

Modern psychology is partially correct when they say that mental illness is a chemical imbalance but where they go wrong is whit the fact that this imbalance is caused by genetic. Which it wasn't prove so far and i have no reason to believe that this is true.

We already discuses that everything you ever enjoyed and will enjoy in life is caused by a class of substances released by your body called endorphin's. Click on the link to read more (http://howtostopbeingcrazy.blogspot.ro/2016/12/what-does-masochism-and-happiness-have.html).

So basically felling normal means having an adequate amount of endorphin's in your body. We obviously get this from pleasurable things like: food, water, sex etc. But this is not enough there is another reason our bodies secret endorphin's, that is to cover pain.

I think this is the way you end this cycle by learning to convert your pain in to pleasure, like this you become relaxed around other people which gives you a much better foundation to build healthy relationships and, and become functional so you can grow and develop the necessary skills you need.

This is still a process i am experimenting with so i am not sure what is the best way to explain it to you or if it is going to work. It is based on the ancient wisdom that you have to face yourself like all your fears and negativity, the way this was explained to me by various teacher was either as a form of emotional purging or as a way to be present to connect with something that already is inside of you. I had very little success with this, until i realized that the pain is actually the think that is stimulating the endorphin system, it is important to stay with your pain because this is how yore body compensate for the pain by releasing endorphin's. No to different the way it dose when you have a physical wound.

I found it important to control the pain in various ways, because if the pain it is to intensive you will completely avoid it and if the pain is not intensive enough it won't stimulate your endocrine system. It also takes persistence you need to do this repeatedly, and you will eventually build enough endorphin inside your body that you will feel like you are high or drunk.

What does Masochism and Happiness have in Common?

Pain always leads to pleasure, if you are making a sandwich and accidentally cut yourself the body gives you feedback through pain for the tissue damage that just accorded. After a period the pain is going to gradually reduce and stop, before the wound is completely healed. This happens because your body starts to secrete endorphin's which masc the pain so your hand is going to feel normal before it is healed.

Endorphin's is just fancy medical term for internal morphine which is a hormone that we all secrete that is associated with pleasure and has the capacity to mask pain. This is behind everything you ever enjoined in life. I guess you could say that all what we do in life we do for morphine. This is also why people that do drugs do them, they put in their body substances that mimics the effect of morphine, well of course and then you have all the bad side effects.

We have this mechanism to help us avoid things that are damaging and pursue the things that are good for us. We get rewarded for good thing like: food, sex etc. and feel pain when we are injured, deprived or put our social status in danger etc.

The problem with this is that in order to grow you need to take risks and do things that can be painful. When this pain is being avoided you end up with degeneration and agony because there is no growth and everything changes if you are not improving and refining you are decaying. So you are going to end up in a place of agony or chronic pain because of all the degeneration.

This is why hedonism is problematic by putting pleasure as the top priority you are going to avoid the pain that is necessary to make you grow. Which makes it almost impossible to be happy.

My definition for happiness being: happiness is the emotional reward for the effort in the pursuit of pleasure. The effort part is key, but sure effort is unpleasant it is painful. And what happens inside your body when you fell pain? You guessed it endorphin's, it is a natural high that makes the work pleasurable.

When i said masochism i didn`t meant like whips and latex i meant deriving pleasure from the natural pain that comes in your life. Which is a natural thing we all have i know it is a taboo, but if it exist this have to has a purpose which means that there is a balance and healthy way to express it.

And the purpose of it is to make human beings more resilient, which is an important precursor for happiness. If in order to be happy you would need that everything in your life to go right, than happiness is impossible. I don't know about you, but i never experience that and never saw or herd of anybody without problems. This is why happiness is almost synonymous with resilience.

How to Stop Felling Emotional Pain

Human beings fell emotional pain under only one circumstance, it is when we lose something.

Like when you lose a sum of money, someone close to you dies, you get fired or end a relationship. This all things have on fact in common is the lose of security. For which your body is giving you feedback with emotional pain.

Lackely we are pretty resilient organism so we have the capacity to heal. Like a physical wound on your body that goes through different healing stages, for example forming the crust to seal the wound and stop further blood loss, the activation of your immune system to kill all bacteria and viruses that enter your body, the regeneration of new tissue true cell division. There is a process that will take a lengthy period of time depending on the severity of the injury. The same happenes with your emotions through the process of grief that is compose out of five stages: denial, anger, negotiation, depression and acceptance.

But what if you have chronic emotional pain that last sometimes even for decades? This happens because there is a constant process of reinjury. If you are making a sandwich every morning and you cut your fingers while cutting the bread, that wound would heal in few days, however if the next morning you cut yourself in the same place not only that wound will never heal but will get worst.

I find the same to be valid when it comes to emotions because you suppress your emotions, people can exploit you for their own agenda so you end up sabotaging yourself every day which leads to chronic lose which in fond leads to chronic emotional pain.

EXPRESSION IS THE END OF YOUR CHRONIC EMOTIONAL PAIN         

And by expression i don't mean an emotional catharsis like bunching a pillow or crying this will only lead to temporary relief, but don't address the actually problem. The key emotion in stopping others from miss using you is anger. If you express anger when someone attempts to abuse you is a self defense act that will eventually stop that person trying to abuse you. Which will stop the abuse and the chronic lose which will stop the emotional pain.

Also it is important to note that chronic emotional pain is what is being labeled as mental illness, if you lock at all the label psychiatry and psychology puts on people, this are all symptoms of the same disease. Regardless you are talking of addiction, depression, anxiety, OCD etc. there are all symptoms of felling chronic emotional pain. Certain illness manifest different in people for example not everybody gets really high fever when they get the flue.

Because emotional pain causes mental illness, when you are going to stop suppressing your emotions and sabotage yourself your mental illness the symptoms of your emotional pain are also going to stop.          

Between Suppression and Indulgence

Most of the values in today's society is based on are religious philosophies. No matter how religious you are, what religion do you belong to or if you are an atheist. It is the tradition and the morality, what we consider to be right or wrong. That was left to you as an inheritance.

These philosophies put a high enthesis on living your life in a certain way in order to maintain the purity of your soul, often requiring sacrificing yourself or certain pleasure in life in order to maintain this purity promising that if you do this sacrifices you will be rewarded more later. In the case of Christianity you go to haven or if you are Buddhist you achieve enlightenment.

This standards are often so high and unrealistically unachievable, that almost nobody practice them. In the area that i live the majority of the people are Christians, but i don't know anybody that truly practices everything you have to do in order to be considered a good Christian. I don't know anybody that turns the other cheek, keeps the fasts, prays often enough or when they don't have any problems, most people go to church only on Easter. Not even the priests respect all this rules some of them are obese and greedy because they have ridiculous fees for their services.

So what happens when you try to control human beings? Two major things one they rebel and do the opposite of what are you trying to coerce them to do just to feel free, and the second thing is that they have no wisdom or guidance on how to extract the most value out of their lives so more likely then not they are going to self sabotage and self destruct.

So if most people are rebelling against Christianity than this means they are doing the opposite of it which means they are satanist. Well not officially but if you look at most people lifestyles they are in accordance with the two most important tenets of satanism. Putting pleasure and the physical body above the spiritual life or you could say living for pleasure, and the second one is self preservation at any cost which means that if getting something involves abusing someone it is OK to do it for as long as you can get away with it.              

The problem with rebellion as our natural first instinct to coercion is that the person that is forcing us to do something unbalanced, by resisting it we do the opposite of that unbalance thing which is still unbalance. Like this even if you resisted the abuse you are still an unhappy and sick person because you are unbalance. So then the optimal way to be in order to extract the most value out of your life is somewhere in the middle between suppression and indulgence. Everything that exist has a purpose so then is not about using only certain emotions or behaviors as much as it is about learning how to express everything in a healthy and balanced way.     

Violence the Weed of Life!

I find myself constantly pondering on why some people use violence, or if there is any benefit from being violent.

A good comparison for violence is a weed, a plant that has no benefit for us but it plays a role in the ecosystem. Some animals and insects eat weeds or live in a symbioses with them. But if you have a garden having weeds growing in your garden means that are going to compete for resources and space with the eatable plants you planted in your garden and produce less food for you and your family.

At the end of the day we all compete with each-others in the world. So the obvious think to do is if you don't want to die of starvation is to constantly kill all the weeds. Unfortunately it is impossible to completely eliminate the weeds from your garden so it takes the constant effort and discipline to pull this harmful plants from the roots as soon as possible.

The same is true for violence as far as we know psychopathy and narcissism are largely genetics, we are not going to get ride of violence simply through improving the standard of life. It also takes the self discipline of self defense if something is threatening your life or well being you have to protect yourself through the use of defensive force.

This might sound obvious until you start looking at what is happening in the world right now, because we are confuse and we don't know the difference between violence and defensive force or right and wrong we are unable and unwilling to defend ourselves. When we are presented with violence we get scared instead of angry. Fear insures that you survive for a short period of time by avoiding the immediate threat, running away from the threat but doesn't eliminate it. So you end up living your entire life in a state of fear.

Felling angry towards the threat is what is making you to take action and more likely to eliminate the threat. As anger is the opposite of fear it is the key of the end of your anxiety. If you are in a state of chronic fear or anxiety before you can feel calm relaxed or loving, you have to find an effective way to fight and eliminate the threat that is making you fell scared and the anger will fuel your actions. But of course anger is a taboo we encourage each others to suppress anger and avoid conflict with all cost. So like this we end up with an epidemic of abusive relationships, aggressive and coercive parents, corrupt government institution etc.

This are all the equivalent of weeds that need to be plucked out of the ground by the people, left unchecked they will just grow and spread in the detriment of everyone's else. For as long as majority of us remains passive to it, violence is going to run the world. We are going to have a relatively peaceful world when good people stop tolerating violence and decide to do something about it.      

Why Anger is Important!

We seem to have an anger problem in the world, and by problem i don't mean like we get angry to often.

Emotions are involuntary responses triggered by inner or environmental stimulus. You can't tell to someone what to feel and when to feel it. If we had control over our emotions we would probably just fell happy all the time.

If your emotions are here to help you survive than anger might actually have a purpose. Anger is the outcome of the fight or flight response, whenever your mind perceives some threat you have to options based on a rapid assessment of the situation. If you think you don't have a chance to win the potential conflict your body is going to go in to flight you fell emotions like fear or anxiety that makes you avoid that situation.

If through your quick assessment of the situation you you realize that you can win the potential conflict you go in to fight the emotion that is generally associated with this is anger. The purpose of anger is to eliminate the threat, and after the threat was eliminated you can restore to a calm state and inner peace.

Anger is not always violence, as a matter a fact it is a form of threat management, in order to be an act of violence you have to use force in a coercive way, to gain something from someone in an unfair way, which implies violating the rights of that person. If you are responding with anger to someone that coerced you it is simply self defense force, which is not immoral.

The problem with fear is that in running from the threat, in the best case scenario you get to escape from the threat unharmed but you are not eliminating the threat. And when you just escape from the threat you have another chance to re encounter it which can lead to chronic anxiety. While responding with anger to a threat is more likely to eliminate that threat because we all want to avoid conflict, after that person that attempted to violate you has a confrontation with you it is less likely that it will attack you again. And this is how you stop living in fear, the opposite of fear is anger. Felling angry towards the thing that you are afraid of, is going to make you confront it and from confrontation is much more likely to get some closure with your anxiety. Chronic anxiety exists from the illusion that you have no chance to win that conflict and, it is when the victim realizes and finds a way to fight back that the abuse stops.

Why Anger is a Taboo

If anger is healthy beneficial emotions on top of that involuntary like any other emotions, then why it is not being accepted by society as normal healthy behavior. 

It is a taboo because we like to control each others, and when someone attempts to stop that control more control is being used to confuse that person that what does he or she feels is not normal or that is destructive or hurtful. And because of this people suppress their anger, and self sabotage. 

Suppress or Express

Like with any other emotions you have to options you can chose to suppress or express not felling is not an option. Suppression is always bad because you are sabotaging yourself but are any constructive or destructive ways to express it?

Well what i would consider a destructive expression of anger is when your anger is either hurting yourself or innocent people. This generally happens through some athletic outlet like martial arts, running, boxing etc. The other destructive expression of anger is when people become bully, because someone hurt them they have all this suppressed anger that are not expressing with the people that hurts them and they find weaker vulnerable people then they are and use them as an outlet.

Not only this way of expressing anger are hurting yourself and other people around you, but is also not an effective way to deal with it. Because you are not eliminating the threat of your anger to start with.

So what is a constructive expression of anger: any use of defensive force.   

How to change your behavior!

The problem that most people encounter when they attempt to change is that they have the knowledge of how what they are doing is bad for them but their emotions don't match the knowledge.

Is like somehow your emotional system is broken, and instead of helping you survive is sabotaging them. This happened because you are or was abused, and in the process of abuse you end up confused and in emotional pain.

Addiction is an attempt to self medicate yourself for your emotional pain, this is why we have vices and this is why there is a connection between addiction and abuse. Because the purpose of abuse is to make the victim of abuse self sabotage, creating a win lose dynamic. The only instance under which human being feel emotional pain is when they lose something.

The emotional pain gives you the incentive to self sabotage because the main purpose of self sabotage is to cover your emotional pain with pleasure. Because in the process of being abuse you got confused about life now you are lying to yourself, which not only keeps you vulnerable to future abuse but also maintains your self sabotage and emotional pain.

And from this dissonance is impossible to change, you should never address your behavior without taking care of your emotions first. If you have a vice what are you doing is making yourself feel good when you are doing bad and self destructive things to yourself. You lye to yourself because you were lied to by others, and through this form of lying you suppress your negative emotions that should stop your vices. So the way to fix your emotions is through dedicating yourself to being honest with yourself and other people. This at first is going to make you fell kinda stupid when you are going to realize what you are allowing others to do to you and what you are doing with yourself. This is a great thing in a long term because when your emotions match your actions if you are doing something negative is the end of that vice. Because we are design to avoid pain and pursue pleasure you are going to want to feel good and then quitting your vice is going to be a lot easier.

All mental recovery processes start with honesty and end up with ones willingness to fail at acquiring new skills. There is no difference between knowing and doing all evil exist because of ignorance, and there are two types of ignorance.

The first type of ignorance happens when you are deprived of knowledge, a good example of this is smoking until a certain point in time people didn't had the information about how bad smoking is for their body, so from a moral perspective smoking wasn't a vice it was just as bad for you as it always was but just because the knowledge wasn't available you wouldn't had any reasons to stop or associate your disease with smoking. After the science that linked smoking with cancer and heart disease many people had stopped however not everybody.

Ant that is the second form of ignorance or you could call it denial, this people are still ignorant but not because they don't have the knowledge, because they are justifying their bad decisions and suppressing their negative emotions that should make it easy to change their bad behavior. You probably had conversations with smokers, you never see a honest one telling you how much smoking is lowering the quality of it's life or how very little control he has over his habit because if he would do that he wouldn't smoke for to long. Instead they find all kind of justifications involving genetics, family history etc.