What does it means to be an "ashole"

An "ashole" is someone how is willing to take advantage of other people's vulnerability for his own pleasure or benefit.

I was originally intending to write a post on how to stop being an "ashole", but then I realize the miniscule chances of someone who is one to read this or seek self-knowledge.

Because all vices happened in the presence of ignorance. So it is very likely to be in denial about taking advantage of people in an unfair way or maybe you might lack the necessary consciousness and empathy so this would be of almost no value.

I am writing this, because I know long term victims of abuse often questions their own integrity often, as a survival adaptation you blame others horrible dids on yourself in order to minimize the amount of external abuse you experience. For example the slave might be particularly stressed for not respecting the request of his master not because it is immoral or wrong, but because he doesn't want to get wiped.

The five qualifying factors that makes you an "ashole":

1. kill someone

2. hurt someone physically

3. rape someone

4. steal

(Stealing it is not necessarily limited to just someones material possessions, I would also count things like peace of mind or innocence.)  

5. damage someone propriety


People suppress their negative emotions and discomfort and blame it on themselves. To be self loathing means to feel disgust towards yourself, but not disgusted because you did something wrong, most people who do bad things are in denial so they are completely ignorant to what they do. Most likely if you are self loathing it is because you blame yourself for others bad dids.

I grew up in a fairly poor family, my parents sent me to the neighbourhood school, which from my understanding now was a little better than minimal security prison. I was put trough constant abuse from both teachers and my classmates, in order for me to survive that experience at the time it was smart for me to become self loathing.

In particularly there was a lot of violence, like for example once I was hold at knife point in class with the teacher just going along with the lesson plan. One day I was getting bullied by this guy that was constantly taking pleasure in torturing me, so for a few seconds i blacked out and hit him repeatedly in the face until one of his eyes turned purple.

Knowing what i know now, that was done in self defence and would be considered moral and ethical, but at the time I remember crying hysterically wondering what is wrong with me, why would I hurt someone like that. And the fact that I internalized the abuse and blamed my act on defencive force on myself it actually helped my situation,when the teacher found out, there was no punishment for me. Doing that to one of your classmates would easily get you expelled.

In this types of situation, blaming other peoples would've lead to negative consequences for myself for doing nothing that could be considered wrong or immoral. So I adapted to survive to that environment.

Unfortunatley later on in life this did not helped me very much, It kept attracting abusive people in my life, and prevented me from asserting my needs.