Why do we pretend we are fine

It is a strange phenomena that occurs with some people, you would think that sharing your adversity with other people might help you to get over it easier. Yet most of us chose to just suffer in silence.

If you ever been around people that didn't care to much about you, as soon as they feel that you might go through some adversity they become like magicians and disappear. It is impossible for everybody to like you, if some people abandon you in those moments you are normal. But some people don't even go there to began with, they are always putting a fake front.

This happens because this people grow up around people that didn't love them enough to deal with the adversity that they went trough at times. If they encountered any degree of it they were probably the target of ridicule or abandonment. So for the most part of their life they learned that it is better to just suffer in silence.

If adversity is unavoidable to stay loyal to something or someone you need to love it, you need to trust that it will eventually get better, otherwise you will quit as soon as things get a little harder. Growing up without loving parents has devastating effects on someone even as an adult.

Unfortunately we can't turn back time what was done in the past was done, the true problem is that your past experience is still affecting you in the present. I don't think that the damage is done with what do you experience emotionally as much as how you interpret-ate those emotions, what do you learn from them.

If you are not happy and can't do anything immediate that will solve your problem, as far as i know you have three options. You can either suppress, express or accept your emotions, people who wore abandoned have the tendency to suppress because they gotten condition to do so in the past, this is how they avoided even more pain.

Not being abandoned when you are not well, it doesn't mean that someone is going to fix you or your problems, as much as it is going to give you the impression that there is nothing wrong with you or the fact that you are experience pain. Which allows you to accept your pain and all the flaws you can't change.

Expressing that type of pain it is almost as equally toxic, not only you are going to drive yourself crazy but you are going to drive everybody around you crazy. This is what i call emotional terrorism, dumping your emotions on others in the hope that they will fix it or by sharing them it will give you relief.  

Expressing or suppressing your emotions it is a form of denying your pain, the assumption is made that there is something wrong or unusual with the fact that you are experiencing pain from time to time. If you are going to deny your own pain, everybody else that you encounter that is in pain is going to remained you of your own pain. In order to successfully deny your own pain you also have to deny everyone else. And this is why some people will abandon you when you are in pain.