Nobody really wants to be special

As social animals our first instincts is to want to belong and be part of a group, not stand out. As we grow up and mature we become more independent so we don't need total group identity, but because we have social needs we need to maintain some of the identification with the group.

To achieve excellence in any area of life you have to pretty much stop identifying with the group. Being excellent means to become better than everybody else in a niche. So if you see yourself as a the group this will hold you back.

When the group rejects you, this creates an even stronger intensive to achieve mastery or excellence. This creates the desire of retribution with the people that rejected you, in the hope that if you become better than everybody that rejected you in the past you can now get closure and feel normal.

I could argue that we don't want to be special as much as we want to be normal, we want to be accepted in our communities.  

This is why often the people that have the most are the least satisfied, the chronic satisfaction is what keeps them motivated to become overachievers. It ultimately becomes an addiction, people who are addicted don't engage in their addiction to get high they do it to feel normal. And this is the difference between an addict and a normal person that can just have a drink with dinner and an alcoholic. Being deprived for a long time always create the desire for excess, and when do you indulge in excess you lose your integrity and with it your chance at being happy.

The problem is not so much with wanting to be rich or live a certain lifestyle, as much as it is just a poor strategy for accomplish what you really want, that being happiness. I have no problem with anybody that is trying to become wealthy as much time they are not practicing any violence.

The social approval game is a rigged game that you can't really win, when you are weak and vulnerable some people will take advantage of that, if you work hard and overcome your condition and you are better than a lot of people now they are jealous on you. There will always be someone that doesn't like you, it is simply an inconvenience of life.

It is wise to surrender to the fights that are impossible to win, social approval is one of this things where is better to let go. Happiness and love comes out of practicing virtues not from being liked or great at anything.